Need a laugh?

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," he responded. "Oh. Killing any?" she inquired. "Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Thought this was a good laugh...

A husband thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!" The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the heck is this?", he said to himself. As a little cloud appeared when he shook them out, he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She replied, "It's not talcum powder, it's Miracle Grow". :o)